Saturday, November 7, 2015

Quick & Painless Reviews: Spectre

A James Bond film that's such a by-the-numbers parody of itself, that it can't be spoiled, but if you're sensitive about spoilers, maybe don't read this yet.


 Spectre is about an incompetent assassin who can't operate a vehicle for five minutes, or shoot a few people without completely demolishing everything. An absolute jokester that can't even play around with a mouse without pointing his gun at it and tearing the place down. A film with the message "spying is still cool!" that has absolutely no spying.

Featuring a villian who, guess what, was behind the whole Daniel Craig saga, starting from his character's adoption. Someone so dastardly, despite only getting about 20 minutes of screen time. Just enough time to give two small speeches, perform sinus and brain surgery to zero effect, get blown up by a watch, then have his helicopter shot down with a pistol. A final boss defeated in two hits.

At least they brought back Oddjob. I mean Jaws. I mean Bane?

Spectre is Daniel Craigs 'Tomorrow Never Dies', and probably the most disappointed I've been with a sequel since Terminator 3.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Quick & Painless Reviews: Life Is Strange


A five episode adventure epic released throughout the span of nine months, about a young woman who breaks space and time to... save a small town from a tornado.

Pirate it, and you'll still feel ripped off.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Quick & Painless Reviews: Blood Bowl 2

The game's awesome. Smashing weak humies and scaven has never felt so satisfying. Plus, now we have online league play and Cabal TV. And of course, my niggas Jim Johnson and Bob Bifford are back with fresh commentary.


I'm not one to normally appeal to authority when it comes to an argument, but this is a review, and I'm probably one of the highest authorities there are in the Blood Bowl gaming franchise. In the last five years, Risexual and I have easily accumulated at least 6000 hours of game time throughout Blood Bowl Legendary & Chaos Edition. Over those years, we pretty much lived and breathed the game, molding our senses of humor around what's basically one big inside joke based around Blood Bowl lore; we pretty much wrote the book on every strategy for every team, and we have never lost a single online match to an honest player. So, do yourself a favour by avoiding what one of the most uninformed and entitled communities in gaming have to say, and buy yourself a copy of this sports masterpiece, because I fucking told you to do it.

Monday, September 21, 2015

The 0wnage of Rogue-age


I used to be pretty much unstoppable at NF BGJ back when I played Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II on the daily. On the Internet back then (as in prior to 2005), people kept screenshot collections of their scores to help with their street cred, and if they were a big enough douche, they wrote some of their colourful commentary along side it. There isn't really much worth salvaging from my old GeoCities website, but these shots of my JK pages are a nice nostalgia trip.






Thursday, September 17, 2015

Some Sketches & Concept Art

After procrastinating for a decade and allowing the whole emo craze to pass from the mainstream, IndridCold and I have pretty much agreed that the EMOgirl comic has been cancelled. Having dropped that, but also wanting to work on a new comic series besides the Z-Comic, I've started drawing up some concepts. Basically I've just been drawing stuff that looks cool, and then formulating story elements around it all later. I'm also keeping the art style simple, somewhere in the range of the Z-Comics, so that I can theoretically blast out new issues quickly. I've also been testing out some new brush pens that I got for shading. 


Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Random Left 4 Dead Stream

I did a live stream of L4D2 just because. Playing with randoms, nothing special. I'm wondering how long it'll be until YouTube takes it down because of the music I had playing. Really pulling my A-Game to keep the content flowing here. I'll actually make a conscience effort to find the power cable for my scanner and get some new art on here soonish.


Action starts at 00:03:00

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Mr. Robot

Basically the best show. That'd be my review if there was one. I made this wallpaper for it.

Click here for the 1920 x 1080 version

Monday, August 31, 2015

Quick & Painless Reviews: LEGO Jurassic World

Honestly isn't even that good for a Lego game. I enjoyed the Jurassic Park 1 episode due to nostalgia, despite there being almost no enemies to fight the entire time. The episodes following it have enemies, though 99% of the time you'll be fighting compys or some variant of them.

I feel the Lego games have become too heavy-handed with the "puzzles," having to literally stop every seven seconds to use a character-specific ability, bust some blocks up, and/or build something ad nauseum to complete a level that is otherwise two minutes long.

Anyway, I made my way to the Jurassic World episode and was having a decent time, as it was apparent more effort went into the levels specifically surrounding the new movie, but somewhere near the end of the game, while fighting the Indominus Rex, this happened:


The level bugged out, literally causing the boss to start fucking me in the ass as the game softlocked, forcing me to restart the level. There were no checkpoints. I was expected to go through the four minutes of puzzle-padding to fight the QTE boss again. At this point, I was sleep deprived, and had taken exactly too much shit from this insufferably mediocre game, so I quit, ejected the disk, had a nap, then returned it.

Perhaps you might have seen my review of Ryse, where I said that one glaring problem negates the quality of the overall product? I'll admit I'm treading into the territory of a personal pet peeve, but when a game breaks right at the end, it pisses me off to no end. Fuck this game.

Monday, June 29, 2015

The House of the Dead

Sometimes (often) emulating arcade games can be a nightmare. I did this run on a faulty Sega Model 2 emulator Sheldon Cooper style. I had to replay this game like ten times either because OBS wasn't detecting it on my screen, or because the emulator would break my gun alignment. I eventually gave up all hope on recording the best possible run, and settled with playing in a 640x480 window, because that was the most consistent method. Also, the reload key only worked like 60% of the time, so if I do meh in some parts, that's probably why.

Friday, June 5, 2015

1-2-3, H the B


Got it on "clearance" for $8 + $30S&H. Nathan sends me an email saying that he doesn't have any more of the right size and that they only have kid's shirts while I'm busy working for two weeks... then sends it anyway when I didn't reply. Thought briefly about getting it framed, but I'm not willing to dump more money into it, so it hangs above my TV like a decoration in a teenager's room until I can think of what to do with it.


Though I own physical copies of most of their discography, I pirated Pizza EP and their World Tour documentary, to which I would say "fair enough", but I can get get Pizza EP for $5.00, which I wish I chose to do instead.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Gurgle

I sure hope people don't actually use this as a masturbatory aid. For strict scientific use only.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

They Deserve Each Other

Wray & Nephew is the infamous "Jamaican Rum" from the Joke Liquors chapter of Yagsalvania Is Decadent And Depraved, known as the worst rum IndridCold and I have ever experienced. If I were to write an updated list of joke liquors, Pitú would be the new #1. So it's no surprise that when I went looking for it at the liquor store, I found the two stocked next to each other.

Monday, May 25, 2015

MS-DOS Nostalgia: Super Muncher

With P.I.T. #12 suffering from a ludicrous amount of lost computers and general revisions, Risexual hasn't had any face time on this blog in, well... YEARS. So I thought, "How can I get him involved again?" I know! What about those Let's Play videos that were extremely popular four years ago and have since fallen to redundancy?

I mostly record my gameplay footage with my microphone turned off because, like 99.9% of the people who do Let's Plays, I'm simply not funny enough to engage you for more than a couple of minutes at best. But I figured if I have another person with me, we can at least be unfunny together... right?

I put our MST3K riff parodies on a semi-permanent hiatus until I could come up with a halfway decent audio set up. I'd say the microphone quality in this Let's Play is at least doubly improved from what we used to have, along with direct video capture to boot. Now, instead, we shame ourselves by taking forty five minutes to complete a single cycle of a children's educational game set to the easiest difficulty.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

That Guy Who Was 4/20 on 9/11

Sometimes I still like to break out Plasma Pong whenever I want to play games to music that gets more hype the better you do.

Friday, May 1, 2015

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Quick & Painless Reviews: Mortal Kombat X

Damn I suck at Mortal Kombat...


Uh! I mean, screw this clunky DLC-fest! Game crashed on me three times in the main menu before I could even get a match going. And kwick time events? Press X to buy Goro.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Nightwish


Let the bodies hit the Floor

Also Sabaton

Also this fag with a 3DS -- Security's face is priceless


(Not pictured is Delain, because who the fuck cares?)


Thursday, April 9, 2015

Sunday, March 29, 2015

The Order 1886 Playthrough

HAHAHAHA! WHY CAN'T I DO A PLAYTHROUGH VIDEO FOR YOU GUYS AND NOT HAVE SOMETHING GO WRONG? WHY WHY WHY?!

Anyway, the audio was muted near the last boss fight. I sent an appeal to Twitch, but all they did was freeze my account.



Sunday, March 22, 2015

This Is My Creep Face

A couple pics of my friend's cat. He's retarded, but overall a well behaved kitty.


Thursday, March 12, 2015

The Vanishing of Ethan Carter

It's a comfy walking simulator where things eventually get real. You walk in a big circle for three hours solving murders in a forest until you reach the end, where if you didn't solve everything, you get to walk through the circle again for maybe another ninety minutes cleaning up the clues you probably missed while you were still trying to figure out the game mechanics that were never explained to you. If that sounds like an interesting $19.99 experience, check it out. Here's some shots of when the game was being pretty.





Monday, March 9, 2015

Quick & Painless Labels: Birdman

It was The Breakfast Club, except they're trapped inside of a theatre.

But I don't regret watching it.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Viridian

During the very end of August, I crashed into a weird and deep depression. The GamerGate movement was starting to spring into action and was exposing a lot of fucked up corruption that had already taken over the gaming media. That, on top of the already bogus levels of corruption that I already knew had been going on for years, I thought that was it, gaming was doomed. Erik Cain claimed that the gamer is dead, and that old nerds like me, who had already faced seclusion for decades because of the nature of our hobby, were even going to be even further segregated by the communities now buying their way into the industry. I practically had nowhere to run because someone like me was now strawman for bigotry because of the games I play, or the websites I visit. Thankfully GamerGate leveled up, but before the months it took it to happen, I found The Promised Land.

Viridian is a virtual town within one of Minecraft's many online servers, CivCraft (mc.civcraft.vg). CivCraft is basically a social experiment to see what kind of civilizations users can create and how they decide to interact with each other. Other than deterring hacking and sock account abuse, there are no rules. Over time, many websites have jumped into the server to claim a bit of land as their own, and/or conquer others. One such community on a certain video game centric imageboard I frequent decided to take part and create our own promised land. We settled in an area formally known as StoneArk, whose owners entrusted us with, and let us ultimately claim as Viridian. This is pretty much where I took shelter for about two months straight to keep me out of the whole gaming journalism debacle thing until most of it could blow over. When I poked my head out, gaming still seemed to be alive, and in the mean time, I had a lot of fun experiences with my little autism town and its 100 or so users that came and went in that time. Over time I took little video clips around the city, eventually planning on editing together a video to draw new citizens in, but as the town population became inactive, I couldn't get any interesting footage, and finally, after like four years, the premium Minecraft account that I borrowed from an anon was reclaimed with a new password and I can no longer log in. Here's the footage I have left:


I had plenty of neat screenshots too, but I'm a fucking idiot who deleted them all in the folder I saved them in once YouTube finished processing this video.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Insurency

Insurgency's co-op is something that you usually want to take slow and allow the enemy to come to you, but sometimes shit just hits the fan and you need to dropshot a bitch.



Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Quick & Painless Reviews: American Sniper

The movie has the word 'sniper' in the title, so I went in thinking I was going to watch a sniper movie.


Chris Kyle killed a lot of scum, but it wasn't necessarily as a sniper. He hardscopes like eight guys in the entire movie, and spends the rest being your usual door kicking cowboy. I didn't know he was murdered, so that felt terrible at the end.

Movie's alright. Take a shot every time you see the Punisher insignia.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Strafe Demo

Strafe is a neat little FPS with a mid-90's retro aesthetic that I hope reaches its funding goal.

EDIT: It made it. Sweet!

 

Monday, February 16, 2015

Barony

For a game that I would have probably never heard of if it wasn't randomly linked to me, Barony is probably one of the best first-person dungeoneering games I've ever played. Definitely better than Eldritch, which I already like a lot, and it's free. The basic combat leaves something to be desired, but I rolled a wizard, and messing around with magic is quite a lot of fun.


I may upload a playthrough of one of the other classes for comparison.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Resident Evil In Under 3 Hours

Even though I cheesed this trophy by doing it in New Game+, I'm not a marathon speedrunner (not to imply this is an impressive run by today's standards), and this was still pretty stressful. I was pretty confident by the time I reached the labs since I estimated that I had about 40 minutes left, but it was definitely relieving for it to finally be over and to see the "Don't Stop Running" trophy pop up.




I might broadcast and upload other challenges depending on how lengthy they become.

Got The Trophy

Video hopefully up by tomorrow

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Normies

No more than seven hours played between the two of them. It's like I really got sent back to 2008.


Saturday, January 17, 2015

Quick & Painless Reviews: Ryse 2: Halo MCC Boogaloo


36 hours to fully install and patch, but I had to get in on those Halo 2 Anniversary graphics and cinematics. I remember it taking maybe 10-12 hours to go through Halo 2 as a kid, but with cinematics included, it only took 4 1/2 hours this time around. I went through Halo CE Anniversary as well just to feel like I hadn't completely wasted my time, and that only took 3 1/2 hours.

fuck off / 10

Friday, December 5, 2014

One Hell Of A Drug

Apparently this doesn't translate well to video, and I probably should have edited the beginning down by a minute. Sorry that I had the decency to not go in for some possibly illegal closeups. Nonetheless, it was pretty awkward sitting there hearing all of that snorting going on for like five minutes before I even got my camera out.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Super Wolfenstein HD

Sometimes I wake up a 3:00AM, find out about games like these, then have to play through them.

Fuck sleep.


Sunday, November 23, 2014

Dream Team 2003

Practically half the fun in the various XCOM games is naming your soldiers, bonus points if you can come up with a consistent theme for all of them. For this playthrough, I rounded up a bunch of bros I used to roll with on GameSpy Arcade like a decade ago. Time to let go? Nah. Khaos was the first soldier to have the psychic gift, and will probably go on to become the saviour of all mankind when I get around to finishing my playthrough.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Coopersville?

From about age 13-16, I had a pretty nasty habit of tracing parts of my artwork. It's not really something I regret, as going through the motions of other artists' drawings was one of the steps that helped me improve my original work. No one ever called me out on it either. This was done to a considerable amount of artwork revolving around the Z-Comics while I was trying to figure out how to evolve the style of the series. This usually involved finding some decent Sonic fanart on VCL, and re-rigging it into some sort of super deformed Zoner art. You'll find some instances of it in the first comic issue I've already posted, and probably in the following issues if/when I get around to scanning them. Anyway, I drew this up as a throwback to that weird style while I toy with the idea of making a half-assed spinoff comic as an excuse to returning to some old habits.


Sanic?

I was flipping through my art folder and found something I guess I never finished. I think I was trying to channel some Jhonen Vasquez but was discouraged by how much inking I'd have to do for something that isn't that good. I'd place this sketch at maybe two years old.




Monday, October 6, 2014

Alien Isolation Is A Pretty Neat Looking Game

(WORK IN PROGRESS)


Neat water

Neat steam

Time to stop pussing out. Full 1080p baby, and neat pre-rendered cutscenes.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Lifeless Planet Playthrough

Lifeless Planet is a game that had a really cool trailer that almost seemed to imply it had some open world planetary exploration elements in it. What we got was a more linear, level based puzzle/platforming/adventure with sometimes mildly frustrating player physics, though you can maybe blame that on me for not wanting to plug my gamepad in. Still, the levels themselves contain many huge areas to explore, and it is quite comfy to do so.


Sunday, September 7, 2014

Vigil

Something I sketched up back in May. I wanted something with a lot of ink because I was drawing it to kill time during a twelve hour shift.



Mine Turtle

Technically I'm a Koopa Troopa




































UNCROPPED ORIGINAL LINE ART BELOW

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Quick & Painless Reviews: AVGN: The Movie

So it's been how long? Eight years...? Forever? But after what was starting to become Duke Nukem Forever levels of development, it has finally come out.


He's going to take you back to the past, though not necessarily to play shitty games that suck ass. What we get is a feature film which presents itself with a barrage of charming 80's b-flick cheese, and UHF style homages to popular films and games, plus more cameos than almost any one person can count in their first watch. Underneath it all we have a semi-serious political commentary about modern game marketing peddling shit, with an almost entire cast of super dynamic and forever memorable characters.

Strangely out of place is the second lead in the film, Jeremy Suarez, who is the only character who doesn't completely get the chance to 'fit' into the film's universe, almost as if his inclusion was an afterthought, or maybe written for another actor. Some of the passion behind the experience does also get lost as well after such a long, tiring wait, but I don't mean that in a way that belittles the immense amount of work that went into it while also producing dozens of episodes for various web series.

The big thing you're probably wondering is, "Does he finally do an actual review for ET in the movie?" The answer is yes, and the review is so surprising and unique from all of the others, that it's worth the wait of the film's production and duration to experience.

I'd give it more than 7 stages out of 10, but the stupid game won't let me go past that point.




FULL DISCLOSURE: I was, at one time, in a romantic relationship with James Rolfe, who is both the creator of the film and the lead actor, so my opinion on the movie might be biased.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Fucking Random Pubbers

The Sacrifice is a campaign that has the potential to really fuck you over if you get hit by a Tank and a Horde at the same time, and you have some random pubber whining for a first aid kit. I wish the sound on this recording worked so you could hear the delicious blow-by-blow.



At 0:23, I ask if everyone's ready. He says nothing.

At 0:46, you can see his speech icon as he starts asking for a heal AFTER the Tank and Horde have shown up.

At 1:07, despite my best discretion, I pull out my first aid kit in preparation to heal him. It's not possible, so I throw the bile jar in an attempt to distract the infected. It's still not working and the tank's on its way.

 At 1:12, "greedy teammates suck"

Who wants to support a filthy ragequitting casual anyway?

All in all, it's all IndridCold's fault, because I think he startled the crows.

Dark Carnival

Left 4 Dead 2 is a racist game where Turtle Rock Studios thought they'd make the game more "realistic" in the sequel by making the AI for the black characters extra stupid. Thankfully IndridCold and I manage without many problems.


Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Doom 3: Lost Mission Playthrough

I woke up in a very Doom-y mood this morning, so I decided to finally give the Lost Mission expansion a go.


Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Clearing

A made-for-television student film created in 2005, starring IndridCold as "Syd".




Video with audio commentary below.

Friday, July 18, 2014

H-Doom (techdemo5)

Someone had to make this mod someday. Just the first few levels since there isn't a lot to show right now.


Sorry for using Blogspot's quality-tastic video player, but it's not like I'm going to upload this to one of my real accounts.

Friday, July 11, 2014

Quick & Painless Reviews: Victory Buffet (Sarnia, Ontario)

From the ashes of Panda Gardens, and Oyami, rises Victory Buffet, which once again brings us a mix of Asian and American cuisine. IndridCold and I went in expecting another disappointing rehash of the last two restaurants, and that's not quite what we got. The menu is eerily similar to Oyami. Some of the dishes are almost identical, which implies that they rehired some of the former kitchen staff. However, the quality of the cooking has improved substantially.

My overall impression is satisfaction, but with a side of caution. I wasn't present for the opening of Oyami, but when Panda Gardens initially opened, they also brought in professional staff to prepare for them, only for them to drop their standards after a month. If a $22 dinner seems good to you, I'd suggest that you try them sooner than later, just in case, and I hope Victory Buffet my best wishes in maintaining good business, and good quality.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Hellsingish.

This is just a painting that, has been though many transformations to finally get to it's final stage. I was kind of indecisive of where I was going with this but, I like what I ended up with.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Review: Hidden Talents' Les Miserables

Recently I stumbled into an old friend from High School, on one of my drinking adventures. Long story short, he had came back to Sarnia from Toronto for personal reasons about a year ago. In the past month, he was in this musical production of Les Miserables. For the reason why this part has any reverences to my review: Eleven years ago I had seen almost the exact same play. Same director: Carrie Beauchamp, same theatre: Imperial Theatre, and almost the same cast. The stage setup, the props they used, the script, and songs were all the same. Even my friend, Adam, was also in it eleven years ago with his minor role. This time around he had the role of Marius. The true difference this time around is that, eleven years ago Hidden Talents' cast of Les Miserables were no older than 19! So, there I was finding all this out and, feeling obligated to go see this, because of the obvious reasons.

For some of you who don't know what Les Miserable is about: The story starts off with an ex-convict, Jean Valjean, who was imprisoned for 19 years for stealing a loaf of bread. This takes place wayyy back in the days of the french revolution. Breaking his parole, Valjean escapes to start a new life. In his efforts of redemption, Valjean agrees to care for a young girl named, Cosette, for her late mother, Fantine. As Father and daughter, Valjean and Cosette live a quiet life together. Well, almost, Valjean is being ruthlessly tracked by Inspector Javert over the years since Valjean escapes his parole. And the rest is an epic story that unfolds.

(And yes, this is a novel by Victor Hugo, also a movie that was recently made in the passed year or two. Let alone a musical production from Broadway.)

The cast line up they had this time around was amazing in the musical and on the karaoke stage at my local bar of Lizards. I already knew that Adam could sing for, I have seen him in S.C.I.T.'s production of Little Shop of Horrors as the lead of Seymore. Let alone other school musicals and some songs he sang in the band called Canteen back in high school. The lead role of Les Miserables, Valjean, was portrayed by Andrew Colboure. I have no prior information on him but my goodness, the man can sing! For what I did read on Andrew, this is his dream role and also that, he is artistic director for Dance Academy. With all that being said, he is also directing the upcoming musical of Catch me, If You Can in the month of October this year. I am certainly going to go see that. Other amazing voices of Les Miserables are a music teacher, Jen Brown Nead (Fantine), Newly HS graduate, Garbrielle Drapeau (Eponine) and Jayime Cowen (Young Cosette) just to name a few of my favourites of this musical. Other people that I know in this musical are Joe Bainbridge, a fellow drama classmate of mine and Linda Morin, Ryan of the LBC's girlfriend. *It's a small world after all!*

The other amazing part of the musical was the orchestra playing all the music and, the crew who ran the sets, lights, props, and whatever else so smoothly. I don't know anyone personally or any works prior to Les Miserables but hopefully, they'll all get together for another musical, if not Les Miserables years down the road.

As the seats were filling up in the audience, I was lucky enough to have both seats beside me empty. Even though when I picked my seat, Row E 29, both seats beside were already booked, in reason why I went alone. However, I was content that the seats were empty anyways. The red curtains open... and the opening scene was prisoners in the aisles of the audience, pulling on a rope to a huge ship on stage, singing the prolonge of, "Look down, look down, don't look them in the eyes.." while getting whipped by the prison guards. I started getting goosebumps as I was having an odd feeling of DejaVu watching this. The opening scene is also where I discovered Joe Bainbridge was in this musical, as I'm thinking to myself, "Is that Joe? My goodness... it's Joe!" Essentially, I got goosebumps every time my favourites started singing like, Andrew, Adam, Garbrielle.. and the whole musical was certainly a case of DejaVu in a good way. I personally think that the whole thing was better than it was eleven years ago.

After the musical was done, a huge crowd and I were chatting and waiting in the lobby for the cast to slowly appear. Joe and I were talking at one point, catching up and all the jazz. Until Adam and I caught each others glances as we were looking over the shoulders of the people we were chatting with. When we finally made it to each other, we hugged, and chatted a bit on how the musical was amazing and then I got him to sign my ticket. On my way home, the only thing I could listen to from my MP3 player to match Les MIserables was Nightwish. Of course, Les Miserables had an orchestra and Nightwish is metal but both equally epic in regards of vocals. I was also thinking that going to see this was worth penny I spend on my ticket.