Don't Do Much Collecting Nowadays But...

AKA The Captain

Phobos Man

2fast4u

I didn't know 31 minutes to finish No Mercy was speedrunning

Quick & Painless Reviews: Deadpool

I liked Deadpool before it was cool. In Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II, I rocked a Deadpool skin about 50% of the time. But I have no problem admitting he's a fad anti-hero. He's done nothing more than crack one or two great lines occasionally, which are surrounded by a barrage of other 6/10 jokes and fourth wall breaks. Just enough to get by as long as he's almost constantly killing something. Guess what doesn't happen in this movie?

Overhyped for an understandably budget Marvel film. Hopefully this leads to a good sequel what isn't 50% unfunny origin story filler, and 50% mediocre fights against nobody mooks serving a nobody villian.

Too Far Up My Own Ass To Not Screencap This

iankfsb

Please send help!!

Let's have a look at his Steam profile:

Space Beast Terror Fright

Since Steam wouldn't give me a refund for Firewatch, I tried to at least record a second playthrough of it to put up, but the video was choppy as hell and it didn't record the audio despite that the test clip that I recorded right before turned out fine... Two and a half hours wasted, woo.

Instead, here's some videos of me playing a few rounds of a much better game.

Quick & Painless Reviews: Firewatch

I have nothing against "walking simulators". You can see that I've played, reviewed, and made screenshot blogs out of a few major ones over the last few years. And eagerly I waited two of those fucking years for this one to come out.

For months, I even had a modified version of this painting as my wallpaper. 

This one offers an empty experience derivative of The Vanishing of Ethan Carter, with (admittedly decent) banter between two main characters that goes nowhere in a game that manages to barely be four hours tops despite taking place in an open national park setting. The setting, it turns out, is mostly just padding. There's little to explore except for the obvious landmarks the developers left for you; nothing extra that you find or do will affect or flesh out the story in any way; and the game is uglier than Ethan Carter, so there isn't much worth looking at either.

I get up to more in a five hour shift at my real summer park job. I mad.

5/20




(that's the amount in dollars that you should consider paying instead of the full price of $20, in case you weren't catching on)

Old Whiteboard Art

A Coopersville portrait I made on the whiteboard of a limousine booking office like four years ago. Apparently it's still there today, since a friend just took a picture of it and sent it to me. I'd like to give a big shout out to the funny fuck who rubbed their finger across the whole thing.

Huh.

Getting Back Into It

IndridCold and I got back into COD4. We used to be somewhere in the top 5% of players worldwide with our other friend Danny when we played it on the Xbox360. Now we're entering a whole new ball game and jumping into PC. Shitsux having to learn how to git gud again, and it won't even feel legitimate with all of the hacking going on, but if I belong anywhere in COD, it's here (and also Black Ops).

Once I get my good classes set up, things will start to get crazy again.
 
EDIT:

Two choppers!

Four choppers!! It's coming back to me baby!

Super Doom 64

Super Doom 64 adds Doom 64 textures and sprites to your normal Doom and Doom 2 wads. It looks cool, so I figured I'd use it while doing a Doom playthrough on Twitch.

For some reason, the video lags during the first level, but plays fine for the rest of the playthrough. E1M2 begins at 1:40.

Post-Professional Photography

Toilet Selfies

Those are a thing, right?

Paranoia 2: Savior Playthrough

I had to dink around with this video for like a week because the YouTube drones kept picking up some b-side atmospheric track from Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence (the worst GiTS by a longshot tbhfam) during different parts of the footage every time I reuploaded it. Now it has a whole five minute chunk of audio that I muted just to be safe, but nothing really happens during that section of the video, so no big deal.

Anyway, I did my view-baiting with The Order: 1866; it sucked and didn't work, so I'm back to more original stuff. Paranoia is a very underrated horror FPS that came out like eight months ago. It's annoying how it can go from 300 fps to 13 because the game was basically duct taped together by a couple Russians, but outside of that the gunplay and atmosphere are very satisfying. If you don't want to play it, this is a very comfy playthrough to watch before bed or something. I've already watched it four times myself, and I almost never rewatch my videos, especially the long ones.

We A Foodie Blog Now

Instagram hipsters like to take photos of their fancy meals at restaurants? Well, I took a picture of the most embarrassing dinner I've had in probably two decades. Like, this is the stuff Europeans still get made fun of for eating.

Never Forget

Looking Pretty Good For Dead

Quick & Painless Reviews: Spectre

A James Bond film that's such a by-the-numbers parody of itself, that it can't be spoiled, but if you're sensitive about spoilers, maybe don't read this yet.

 Spectre is about an incompetent assassin who can't operate a vehicle for five minutes, or shoot a few people without completely demolishing everything. An absolute jokester that can't even play around with a mouse without pointing his gun at it and tearing the place down. A film with the message "spying is still cool!" that has absolutely no spying.

Featuring a villian who, guess what, was behind the whole Daniel Craig saga, starting from his character's adoption. Someone so dastardly, despite only getting about 20 minutes of screen time. Just enough time to give two small speeches, perform sinus and brain surgery to zero effect, get blown up by a watch, then have his helicopter shot down with a pistol. A final boss defeated in two hits.

At least they brought back Oddjob. I mean Jaws. I mean Bane?

Spectre is Daniel Craigs 'Tomorrow Never Dies', and probably the most disappointed I've been with a sequel since Terminator 3.

Quick & Painless Reviews: Life Is Strange

A five episode adventure epic released throughout the span of nine months, about a young woman who breaks space and time to... save a small town from a tornado.

Pirate it, and you'll still feel ripped off.

Quick & Painless Reviews: Blood Bowl 2

The game's awesome. Smashing weak humies and scaven has never felt so satisfying. Plus, now we have online league play and Cabal TV. And of course, my niggas Jim Johnson and Bob Bifford are back with fresh commentary.

I'm not one to normally appeal to authority when it comes to an argument, but this is a review, and I'm probably one of the highest authorities there are in the Blood Bowl gaming franchise. In the last five years, Risexual and I have easily accumulated at least 6000 hours of game time throughout Blood Bowl Legendary & Chaos Edition. Over those years, we pretty much lived and breathed the game, molding our senses of humor around what's basically one big inside joke based around Blood Bowl lore; we pretty much wrote the book on every strategy for every team, and we have never lost a single online match to an honest player. So, do yourself a favour by avoiding what one of the most uninformed and entitled communities in gaming have to say, and buy yourself a copy of this sports masterpiece, because I fucking told you to do it.

The 0wnage of Rogue-age

I used to be pretty much unstoppable at NF BGJ back when I played Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II on the daily. On the Internet back then (as in prior to 2005), people kept screenshot collections of their scores to help with their street cred, and if they were a big enough douche, they wrote some of their colourful commentary along side it. There isn't really much worth salvaging from my old GeoCities website, but these shots of my JK pages are a nice nostalgia trip.

Some Sketches & Concept Art

After procrastinating for a decade and allowing the whole emo craze to pass from the mainstream, IndridCold and I have pretty much agreed that the EMOgirl comic has been cancelled. Having dropped that, but also wanting to work on a new comic series besides the Z-Comic, I've started drawing up some concepts. Basically I've just been drawing stuff that looks cool, and then formulating story elements around it all later. I'm also keeping the art style simple, somewhere in the range of the Z-Comics, so that I can theoretically blast out new issues quickly. I've also been testing out some new brush pens that I got for shading. 

Random Left 4 Dead Stream

I did a live stream of L4D2 just because. Playing with randoms, nothing special. I'm wondering how long it'll be until YouTube takes it down because of the music I had playing. Really pulling my A-Game to keep the content flowing here. I'll actually make a conscience effort to find the power cable for my scanner and get some new art on here soonish.

Action starts at 00:03:00

Mr. Robot

Basically the best show. That'd be my review if there was one. I made this wallpaper for it.

Click here for the 1920 x 1080 version

Quick & Painless Reviews: LEGO Jurassic World

Honestly isn't even that good for a Lego game. I enjoyed the Jurassic Park 1 episode due to nostalgia, despite there being almost no enemies to fight the entire time. The episodes following it have enemies, though 99% of the time you'll be fighting compys or some variant of them.

I feel the Lego games have become too heavy-handed with the "puzzles," having to literally stop every seven seconds to use a character-specific ability, bust some blocks up, and/or build something ad nauseum to complete a level that is otherwise two minutes long.

Anyway, I made my way to the Jurassic World episode and was having a decent time, as it was apparent more effort went into the levels specifically surrounding the new movie, but somewhere near the end of the game, while fighting the Indominus Rex, this happened:

The level bugged out, literally causing the boss to start fucking me in the ass as the game softlocked, forcing me to restart the level. There were no checkpoints. I was expected to go through the four minutes of puzzle-padding to fight the QTE boss again. At this point, I was sleep deprived, and had taken exactly too much shit from this insufferably mediocre game, so I quit, ejected the disk, had a nap, then returned it.

Perhaps you might have seen my review of Ryse, where I said that one glaring problem negates the quality of the overall product? I'll admit I'm treading into the territory of a personal pet peeve, but when a game breaks right at the end, it pisses me off to no end. Fuck this game.

Gamebryo

Was slightly spooked

The House of the Dead

Sometimes (often) emulating arcade games can be a nightmare. I did this run on a faulty Sega Model 2 emulator Sheldon Cooper style. I had to replay this game like ten times either because OBS wasn't detecting it on my screen, or because the emulator would break my gun alignment. I eventually gave up all hope on recording the best possible run, and settled with playing in a 640x480 window, because that was the most consistent method. Also, the reload key only worked like 60% of the time, so if I do meh in some parts, that's probably why.

Sanic

Panic Fire

How to be a pro at XCOM.

1-2-3, H the B

Got it on "clearance" for $8 + $30S&H. Nathan sends me an email saying that he doesn't have any more of the right size and that they only have kid's shirts while I'm busy working for two weeks... then sends it anyway when I didn't reply. Thought briefly about getting it framed, but I'm not willing to dump more money into it, so it hangs above my TV like a decoration in a teenager's room until I can think of what to do with it.


Though I own physical copies of most of their discography, I pirated Pizza EP and their World Tour documentary, to which I would say "fair enough", but I can get get Pizza EP for $5.00, which I wish I chose to do instead.

Gurgle

I sure hope people don't actually use this as a masturbatory aid. For strict scientific use only.

Glitchhikers

Birthday Party With My Friend

MS-DOS Nostalgia: Treasure Mountain

MS-DOS Nostalgia: Lamers

They Deserve Each Other

Wray & Nephew is the infamous "Jamaican Rum" from the Joke Liquors chapter of Yagsalvania Is Decadent And Depraved, known as the worst rum IndridCold and I have ever experienced. If I were to write an updated list of joke liquors, Pitú would be the new #1. So it's no surprise that when I went looking for it at the liquor store, I found the two stocked next to each other.

MS-DOS Nostalgia: Super Muncher

With P.I.T. #12 suffering from a ludicrous amount of lost computers and general revisions, Risexual hasn't had any face time on this blog in, well... YEARS. So I thought, "How can I get him involved again?" I know! What about those Let's Play videos that were extremely popular four years ago and have since fallen to redundancy?

I mostly record my gameplay footage with my microphone turned off because, like 99.9% of the people who do Let's Plays, I'm simply not funny enough to engage you for more than a couple of minutes at best. But I figured if I have another person with me, we can at least be unfunny together... right?

I put our MST3K riff parodies on a semi-permanent hiatus until I could come up with a halfway decent audio set up. I'd say the microphone quality in this Let's Play is at least doubly improved from what we used to have, along with direct video capture to boot. Now, instead, we shame ourselves by taking forty five minutes to complete a single cycle of a children's educational game set to the easiest difficulty.

BIG APPLE, 3 AM

NASTY SICK

Normies 2

That Guy Who Was 4/20 on 9/11

Sometimes I still like to break out Plasma Pong whenever I want to play games to music that gets more hype the better you do.

Metro 2033

Went back to replay a recent classic. Took a few screenshots.

Cells

http://agar.io/

Dead Space 2 Playthrough

Quick & Painless Reviews: Mortal Kombat X

Damn I suck at Mortal Kombat...

Uh! I mean, screw this clunky DLC-fest! Game crashed on me three times in the main menu before I could even get a match going. And kwick time events? Press X to buy Goro.

Nightwish

Let the bodies hit the Floor

Also Sabaton

Also this fag with a 3DS -- Security's face is priceless

(Not pictured is Delain, because who the fuck cares?)

Insurg3nZ

The Star Wars of LBC blogs!

I'm going to see Nightwish!

NIGHTWISH TUESDAY!!

Moar InsurgenZ

And moar video quality.

InsurgenZ

A tacticool shooter with a zombie mod? Pure genius!

The Order 1886 Playthrough

HAHAHAHA! WHY CAN'T I DO A PLAYTHROUGH VIDEO FOR YOU GUYS AND NOT HAVE SOMETHING GO WRONG? WHY WHY WHY?!

Anyway, the audio was muted near the last boss fight. I sent an appeal to Twitch, but all they did was freeze my account.