Friday, July 26, 2013
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Quick & Painless Reviews: 2games1film
Remember when I said I wanted to focus less on reviews and get back to posting more art? LOL, I lied. Not that I haven't been drawing up new material, but back in December I bought a new gaming PC which doesn't have an input for my old ass scanner from 1999.
Remember Me
The year is 2084, and a century later Big Brother is back to claim mankind. He has created an implant called the Sensation Engine (Sensen) that allows for the digitization of memories. This has enabled humans to pick and choose what memories they keep and delete, or perhaps even create a completely fresh identity by downloading new artificial memories. Big Brother, for the most part, has built a monopoly on human thought. The player takes control of Nilin, a powerful, racially ambiguous woman who don't need no man, except for the one named Edge who guides her throughout most of the game.
Throughout Remember Me, you explore the futuristic city of Neo-Paris via automatic platforming where you are lead by the nose with a small orange arrow. Every ten jumps or so, you run into some retards, robots, or government baddies who want to kick your ass. Combat in this game is basically like that of Arkham Asylum... if it was dropped on its head. How enemies approach and attack is heavily RNG-based, so if the game rolled a 1 for you, you basically have already lost the fight unless you feel like evading attacks until the AI decides to chill out for three seconds. When you do find some time to fight back, you'll just be mashing the same few combos ad nauseum. You can input new moves into these combos, but they'll always be the same patterns of Squares and Triangles.
You'll be given the ability to "remix" the memories of other characters, something that was advertised quite heavily in previews leading up to the game's release, but this actually only happens a handful of times throughout the game and is a trial-and-error time filler at best.
Remember Me is a textbook example of a 5/10 game that barely scrapes together enough graphics, audio, story, and gameplay to call itself a game.
The Last Of Us
So this game has received 10/10 reviews from just about every website and blog worth mentioning. Even fucking Eurogamer gave it a 10/10! If you're still unconvinced on whether you should go buy this game now, I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of another lengthy review to try and tempt you further. Instead I'm going to rant about the haters for a little bit.
Can you believe there are people who hate this game? They seem to think that the "cinematic experience" is the cancer that's killing gaming. I'd like to know why they think it's suddenly The Last Of Us that's killing in industry, and not Half-Life 2, The Walking Dead, The Witcher 2, Alice: Madness Returns, or the thousand weeabo JRPG's they love that favour story over gameplay. Don't get me wrong, gameplay is very important (and is constantly present in The Last of Us), but a well told story will see just about any game pass the test of time after its graphics have become dated and its gameplay has been copied a hundred more times.
World War Z
After a huge debacle of shame, and like two years of delays, the so-called film adaptation of Max Brooks' novel of the same name has finally come out. If you already know about the book, there are two reasons to go out to theatres and see this film. Either,
1. You want to pay to see how bad this movie can be, or
2. If you're like me, you can justify paying $7.99 as long as you are able to push the fact that this was once based on a book completely out of your mind for almost two hours.
If you can manage the latter, and pretend it's just "another fun zombie movie" like the rest of the general public thought, you'll at least be able to resist any urges to walk out before it's over. WWZ contains zombies that not only run, but also leap head-first at their victims, and can also scale two hundred foot walls in minutes. If that doesn't have you shaking your head, there is some seriously cringe-worthy dialogue and character logic sprinkled throughout the duration at the film that is almost physically painful (I WANT MY BLANKET!).
Everything was given a hardy amount of Disney Treatment, so in case you weren't able to find a babysitter for the night, you probably won't feel too bad bringing children as young as ten along with you. Despite being a film where zombies and survivors alike are constantly being mutated, the headshots and cannibalism are assumed, and little gore is present.
WWZ, however, does do a good job to occasionally remind you that this story is actually about a global war between the living and the undead. There are a few sets that genuinely look like they were taken out of Saving Private Ryan, or Black Hawk Down that inspire at least a slight amount of awe at the scale of destruction the zombie virus has brought upon modern civilization. I'd dare say it does this better than almost any other post-apocalyptic zombies movie, but it certainly doesn't redeem everything else that was done wrong.
I'd say after watching this motion picture, I wanted 4 blankets out of 10.
Remember Me
The year is 2084, and a century later Big Brother is back to claim mankind. He has created an implant called the Sensation Engine (Sensen) that allows for the digitization of memories. This has enabled humans to pick and choose what memories they keep and delete, or perhaps even create a completely fresh identity by downloading new artificial memories. Big Brother, for the most part, has built a monopoly on human thought. The player takes control of Nilin, a powerful, racially ambiguous woman who don't need no man, except for the one named Edge who guides her throughout most of the game.
Throughout Remember Me, you explore the futuristic city of Neo-Paris via automatic platforming where you are lead by the nose with a small orange arrow. Every ten jumps or so, you run into some retards, robots, or government baddies who want to kick your ass. Combat in this game is basically like that of Arkham Asylum... if it was dropped on its head. How enemies approach and attack is heavily RNG-based, so if the game rolled a 1 for you, you basically have already lost the fight unless you feel like evading attacks until the AI decides to chill out for three seconds. When you do find some time to fight back, you'll just be mashing the same few combos ad nauseum. You can input new moves into these combos, but they'll always be the same patterns of Squares and Triangles.
You'll be given the ability to "remix" the memories of other characters, something that was advertised quite heavily in previews leading up to the game's release, but this actually only happens a handful of times throughout the game and is a trial-and-error time filler at best.
Remember Me is a textbook example of a 5/10 game that barely scrapes together enough graphics, audio, story, and gameplay to call itself a game.
The Last Of Us
So this game has received 10/10 reviews from just about every website and blog worth mentioning. Even fucking Eurogamer gave it a 10/10! If you're still unconvinced on whether you should go buy this game now, I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of another lengthy review to try and tempt you further. Instead I'm going to rant about the haters for a little bit.
Can you believe there are people who hate this game? They seem to think that the "cinematic experience" is the cancer that's killing gaming. I'd like to know why they think it's suddenly The Last Of Us that's killing in industry, and not Half-Life 2, The Walking Dead, The Witcher 2, Alice: Madness Returns, or the thousand weeabo JRPG's they love that favour story over gameplay. Don't get me wrong, gameplay is very important (and is constantly present in The Last of Us), but a well told story will see just about any game pass the test of time after its graphics have become dated and its gameplay has been copied a hundred more times.
World War Z
After a huge debacle of shame, and like two years of delays, the so-called film adaptation of Max Brooks' novel of the same name has finally come out. If you already know about the book, there are two reasons to go out to theatres and see this film. Either,
1. You want to pay to see how bad this movie can be, or
2. If you're like me, you can justify paying $7.99 as long as you are able to push the fact that this was once based on a book completely out of your mind for almost two hours.
If you can manage the latter, and pretend it's just "another fun zombie movie" like the rest of the general public thought, you'll at least be able to resist any urges to walk out before it's over. WWZ contains zombies that not only run, but also leap head-first at their victims, and can also scale two hundred foot walls in minutes. If that doesn't have you shaking your head, there is some seriously cringe-worthy dialogue and character logic sprinkled throughout the duration at the film that is almost physically painful (I WANT MY BLANKET!).
Everything was given a hardy amount of Disney Treatment, so in case you weren't able to find a babysitter for the night, you probably won't feel too bad bringing children as young as ten along with you. Despite being a film where zombies and survivors alike are constantly being mutated, the headshots and cannibalism are assumed, and little gore is present.
WWZ, however, does do a good job to occasionally remind you that this story is actually about a global war between the living and the undead. There are a few sets that genuinely look like they were taken out of Saving Private Ryan, or Black Hawk Down that inspire at least a slight amount of awe at the scale of destruction the zombie virus has brought upon modern civilization. I'd dare say it does this better than almost any other post-apocalyptic zombies movie, but it certainly doesn't redeem everything else that was done wrong.
I'd say after watching this motion picture, I wanted 4 blankets out of 10.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Friday, March 1, 2013
Quick & Painless Reviews: Dear Esther
2deep4me
I've heard mixed opinions about this game: That it's a deep and touching experience at best, and an arduous fifty minute walking simulator at worst. This game was on sale yesterday for $2.46, so I figured I didn't have much to lose if I at least took this game for face value and just appreciated seeing some pretty scenery here and there.
So it is true that this game is basically a walking simulator, but it is also true that it is very pretty at times. The landscape and soundtrack make for a very soothing experience, though not always so. If you're inquisitive enough, you'll be drawn into the odd abandoned house or small cave, which can be rather unsettling, especially when coming upon bloody surgical tools, and indiscernible markings on the walls. Some have gone so far as to label Dear Esther as a horror game, but that's a very big stretch-- these creepy settings make up maybe four minutes of this game's lifespan.
As you progress, a narrator laments over the history of the island you're on, its previous inhabitants, kidney stones, and the death of his wife. There's some 2deep4u metagaming stuff, like how the narrator, though voiced by the same person, represents the voice of several characters; what the markings in the sand and walls mean; and there are also tales of a dozen or so ghost sighting to those with a keen enough eye. I'm not going to pad this blog with all of that stuff, mostly because I don't care, but also because I don't want to spoil that aspect of the experience for you.
My only major gripe about this game are the cheap 2D sprites used on some of the plant textures. A lot of games use them, but when your game is all about the immersion, it's kind of distracting when it is obvious the plants are always "facing" me, especially so when I'm walking through waist-high long grass and weeds. Even the mushrooms in the caves are 2D sprites, which I felt was exceptionally lazy.
Anyway, for your enjoyment, I took several screenshots on my journey across the island. Something worth noting about the screenshots is that the image files are labelled with different names, which I suppose lends to the theory that the narrator is the voice of different characters. Alas, if you choose to play this game, here are some of the neat things you'll get to see:
I've heard mixed opinions about this game: That it's a deep and touching experience at best, and an arduous fifty minute walking simulator at worst. This game was on sale yesterday for $2.46, so I figured I didn't have much to lose if I at least took this game for face value and just appreciated seeing some pretty scenery here and there.
So it is true that this game is basically a walking simulator, but it is also true that it is very pretty at times. The landscape and soundtrack make for a very soothing experience, though not always so. If you're inquisitive enough, you'll be drawn into the odd abandoned house or small cave, which can be rather unsettling, especially when coming upon bloody surgical tools, and indiscernible markings on the walls. Some have gone so far as to label Dear Esther as a horror game, but that's a very big stretch-- these creepy settings make up maybe four minutes of this game's lifespan.
As you progress, a narrator laments over the history of the island you're on, its previous inhabitants, kidney stones, and the death of his wife. There's some 2deep4u metagaming stuff, like how the narrator, though voiced by the same person, represents the voice of several characters; what the markings in the sand and walls mean; and there are also tales of a dozen or so ghost sighting to those with a keen enough eye. I'm not going to pad this blog with all of that stuff, mostly because I don't care, but also because I don't want to spoil that aspect of the experience for you.
My only major gripe about this game are the cheap 2D sprites used on some of the plant textures. A lot of games use them, but when your game is all about the immersion, it's kind of distracting when it is obvious the plants are always "facing" me, especially so when I'm walking through waist-high long grass and weeds. Even the mushrooms in the caves are 2D sprites, which I felt was exceptionally lazy.
Anyway, for your enjoyment, I took several screenshots on my journey across the island. Something worth noting about the screenshots is that the image files are labelled with different names, which I suppose lends to the theory that the narrator is the voice of different characters. Alas, if you choose to play this game, here are some of the neat things you'll get to see:
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
PSN Hate Mail Round-Up
 | |
| You can't even kick players from a public lobby. |
 | |
| Anyway, the reason I "ran" was because he was the only player left in the pre-game lobby after everyone else ragequit. |
 |
| French people are so rude. Also fuck this guy thinking he can look down at campers. Literally every single kill this player got on me in the two matches I played with him were with RPG's and newb tubes. |
 |
| Obligatory "calling someone a faggot" message. |
 |
| Okay, so this guy sent me this while playing on the map "Grid". I single-handedly destroyed his team so badly that everyone quit except him and one other player. With only a handful of players in the game, I stayed inside the South building since I could tell this guy had it out for me and I wanted him to know where he could find me. I more-or-less answered his question for him as he was sending this message, because when I received it, I was in the process of running outside and fragging him. |
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Deformed.
I don't quite know which way to take it. It bothers me that there is so space to be filled. If this was 10 years, this page would have been filled already!
Monday, February 11, 2013
Quick & Painless Reviews: Dead Space 3
I was worried about the universal ammo, but it turned out to be a non-issue.
I was worried about fighting human enemies, but that turned out to be a non-issue.
I was a little worried about the recharging stasis, but it turned out to be a non-issue.
The one thing I thought wouldn't be a problem was the cash shop. It hasn't hurt my ability to play any other console game normally, so I didn't think it'd be a problem. Whoops. The default weapons take forever to fully craft and upgrade, and until they are, they're weak as shit. You now take on tons of enemies (so many that the corpses disappear before I can get items from them) in cramped environments, and on top of that, they're all faster than the advanced nercomorphs from the previous two games. This coupled with the bad level design usually results in "find the nearest corner and fire aimlessly into the dog pile of monsters raping my face until the dramatic music stops." The surgical gunplay from before has had to make way for generic corridor shootan that's even too fast and broken for KB/M.
If the game just slowed the fuck down a bit it could have been as good as the other two; it could have even kept all the enemies and it would have been fine, but it's easily the worst Dead Space by a long shot. I'm hoping the experience will feel more balanced with co-op on my second playthrough, and yes, it hurts that I have to say that about a Dead Space game.
UPDATE: Patch 1.2 seemed to change around weapon damage and/or enemy health. I don't know this for a fact, but I felt a distinct difference in gameplay after that patch was released. Fighting necromorphs feels more balanced now making the game more tolerable. I'd still say this is the weakest of all the Dead Space titles so far, but at least it's now fun.
I was worried about fighting human enemies, but that turned out to be a non-issue.
I was a little worried about the recharging stasis, but it turned out to be a non-issue.
The one thing I thought wouldn't be a problem was the cash shop. It hasn't hurt my ability to play any other console game normally, so I didn't think it'd be a problem. Whoops. The default weapons take forever to fully craft and upgrade, and until they are, they're weak as shit. You now take on tons of enemies (so many that the corpses disappear before I can get items from them) in cramped environments, and on top of that, they're all faster than the advanced nercomorphs from the previous two games. This coupled with the bad level design usually results in "find the nearest corner and fire aimlessly into the dog pile of monsters raping my face until the dramatic music stops." The surgical gunplay from before has had to make way for generic corridor shootan that's even too fast and broken for KB/M.
If the game just slowed the fuck down a bit it could have been as good as the other two; it could have even kept all the enemies and it would have been fine, but it's easily the worst Dead Space by a long shot. I'm hoping the experience will feel more balanced with co-op on my second playthrough, and yes, it hurts that I have to say that about a Dead Space game.
UPDATE: Patch 1.2 seemed to change around weapon damage and/or enemy health. I don't know this for a fact, but I felt a distinct difference in gameplay after that patch was released. Fighting necromorphs feels more balanced now making the game more tolerable. I'd still say this is the weakest of all the Dead Space titles so far, but at least it's now fun.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Sticking It To Your Mother
Pictured is Yours Truly enjoying a bottle of MADD non-alcoholic Chardonnay. But it isn't just any non-alcoholic wine! In fact, it isn't non-alcoholic at all! Inside this waste of ten dollars, I also mixed in sambuca.
Seriously, who drinks this stuff by itself? I'm dying to know, and so are the people at the grocery store I found it in. Apparently I'm the only one who's bought it in my town, because when the girl at the check-in saw it, first she thought it was a bottle of olive oil, then she thought it was real wine, then she stopped to carefully read the label, then I had to spin a story of what I intended to do with the non-alcoholic wine before she laughed me out of the building.
I don't have a vendetta against MADD, though I have written several essays against them in high school. I wouldn't go so far as to say they're bad, but they're certainly unnecessary. The people who are into MADD's plight are people who wouldn't tolerate drinking and/or driving in the first place, and the people who aren't are well... they aren't going to listen to reason, they're drunk! MADD's basically nothing more than a pretentious circlejerk that has ultimately accomplished nothing, and therefore has become a shameless cash-grab for its benefactors. Kind of like PETA, except they never killed anyone(?). Therefore: Cheers, and fuck you, MADD.
(Yes, wine mixed with Sambuca tastes like shit.)
EDIT: No, I didn't drive after.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Spam
Just some inside info for our other contributors, and also I guess a somewhat "behind-the-scenes" look for our actual readers. The LBC actually gets spammed with a fair amount of comments, but you never see them since Google seems to do a good job filtering them all out. Regardless, I still get the notices in my inbox. Here's a couple of the recent ones that replied to the "Blog Updates" post:
People like to get paid by posting junk blogs and commenting on others' garbage (including ours), but since they only get paid a couple cents per click, it just makes much more sense to program bots to do it. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to be working out too well for them nowadays. Sadly these bots sound almost sincere, and I'm a little depressed that Google would rather do away with them since having them around would at least make it seem like this blog isn't a big circlejerk.
UPDATE:
UPDATE:
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Blog Updates
The LBC has passed its first year online, and now that we have a decent collection of content, I've added a "Feature Articles" menu to the side of the page for quick access to our main series of blogs. It's the thingy that looks like this:
Speaking of content: I apologize if it feels like we've been too review-heavy lately. The main intention of this blog was to focus on art and writing, and to have things like reviews be secondary. However, back in late April, I sustained a severe sprain to my left thumb, which belongs to my writing hand. This has greatly hindered my ability to hold a pencil, let alone draw anything. Recovery has been slow, but I now have what I estimate is about 75% of the mobility back in my thumb. I'm guessing/hoping that in a couple months I'll have full use of my left hand again and will be able to contribute more art to this website.
Speaking of content: I apologize if it feels like we've been too review-heavy lately. The main intention of this blog was to focus on art and writing, and to have things like reviews be secondary. However, back in late April, I sustained a severe sprain to my left thumb, which belongs to my writing hand. This has greatly hindered my ability to hold a pencil, let alone draw anything. Recovery has been slow, but I now have what I estimate is about 75% of the mobility back in my thumb. I'm guessing/hoping that in a couple months I'll have full use of my left hand again and will be able to contribute more art to this website.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Quick & Painless Reviews: Triple Game Slam Jam
I've just had a fuckload of games fall in my lap over the last couple of days. Apart from the three I'm reviewing, I also have to get around to playing through Sleeping Dogs, Resident Evil 6, Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, and XCOM: Enemy Unknown (2012) over the next week. Let's hurry up and get this slobberknocker started:
Survival Crisis Z
Now we all know James Silva is a lazy cunt who should stop making casual Xbox Live Arcade games so that he can finish the more superior looking Survival Crisis X. He should also hire some good artists (but who are the garbage men and woman of this blog to judge?). But you've probably read this on just about every blog you've seen feature this game, so let's just try and talk about the game itself.
This game was a little ahead of its time in 2004. It was released just before open world games officially became "a thing," and it manages to be better at it than 95% of the games that try it today. Also, until DayZ and The War Z are finished, this is probably the only game that's pulled off open world zombie survival well. It also has that old indie game quirk of having unlockable mini-games hidden in its files, like Asteroids, Columns, and a little text adventure game.
Did I mention that this game has balls? You can set the difficulty to "Hardcore," and the setting actually is hardcore. If your character dies under this setting, that's it, your character is dead forever and his profile gets erased. It brings back the fear of death that many recent survival horror games have forgotten about. Of course, the human/zombie sprites in this game look like ass, and I'm surprised there haven't been any mods (that I could find) that improved upon that, but if you can get over that, running around town, taking over strongholds, doing missions, and, uh, surviving is mega fun. Probably in the Top 15 of zombie games that are now plentiful this gen.
Cortex Command
This fucking game has been in development longer than Survival Crisis Z has been out, and almost as long as Duke Nukem Forever took. Now, does this game's quality reflect eleven years of development...? Not necessarily, but it's shitton better that Duke Nukem Forever is. This is probably the best side-scrolling strategy game since Worms: Armageddon, and it even surpasses it in several ways. The campaign mode is similar to Risk, except in how it's not a terrible board game and makes the idea of Risk fun. The menus and help windows keep getting in my goddamn way when I'm trying to click something on the world map, but the controls are, for the most part, fine when I'm actually in battle.
Superbrothers: Sword & Sorcery EP
Now my review of Zombie Survival Z kind of makes me sound like one of those retro-gaming faggots. I'd just like to make it clear that this is definitely not the case. Though there are indeed older gems that have withstood the test of time, I think games are slowly getting better. That said, shit comes from both sides of the spectrum; most games were bad then and most games are bad now. The difference between then and now is that many of the great games of yesteryear were by the big developers, whereas now it seems many of the well-made titles are coming from new developers, and even indie studios. Even then there's some bullshit. Some of the most successful indie games that have come out recently use crappy, big-pixel graphics in an attempt to look retro. That's weird, because when I think of almost any "good" retro-era video game, they all had great art direction and tried the best they could to push the hardware to present the most beautiful graphics possible. What these indie games are doing now doesn't look "retro;" it looks like shit.
Rant aside, Superbrothers: Sword & Sorcery EP isn't one of them. Some of the sprites do have a derpy over pixelated style about them, but as you can even see from the screenshot above, the designers have gone out of their way to render some fascinating environments... and that's not even a good example of what this game looks like. The animations are very fluid, and the moody soundtrack is on par with Sonic Generations as the best video game soundtrack of 2011.
The story is kind of your archetypal "collect this sacred something-or-other to save the world" affair, but it's presented in a neat way. In the first chapter, your character finds a magical book that allows you to literally read people's thoughts, which is often a tool in solving puzzles. There is also a fourth wall breaking narrator character simply named "The Archetype" who adds a so-called "quicky David Lynch" flavour to the plot. The gameplay itself is a mix of point-and-click adventure and timing based combat. It was designed with the iPad in mind, so everything is controlled with the mouse. You double-click or hold the left mouse button down in the direction you want your character move, and you use different motions with your cursor to manipulate the environment around you. When combat occurs, you are given two icons: a sword and a shield. You click the shield to block and click the sword to attack. Sometimes the shield icon will flash, requiring you to click in time to dodge an unblockable attack. Everything in the fight is based on timing, and knowing when you should either attack or defend. It's quite fun and does a good job of livening up the mood after bouts of wandering.
It is also one of those games that takes advantage of your computer's clock to affect certain aspects of the game. Parts of the game cannot be completed unless the Earth's moon is at a specific phase. You can change the date on your computer if you want to speedrun through, but you won't be able to achieve a 100% completion rating. Personally, I'm going to wait the fifteen days until the moon reaches the right phase to complete the third level, because, like I said, I have a fuckload of other games to play.
The Winner
All of these games are great and must be played, but out of the three the most honourable is...
Survival Crisis Z
 |
| Thanks Moby Games. I'm too lazy to take screenshots. |
Now we all know James Silva is a lazy cunt who should stop making casual Xbox Live Arcade games so that he can finish the more superior looking Survival Crisis X. He should also hire some good artists (but who are the garbage men and woman of this blog to judge?). But you've probably read this on just about every blog you've seen feature this game, so let's just try and talk about the game itself.
This game was a little ahead of its time in 2004. It was released just before open world games officially became "a thing," and it manages to be better at it than 95% of the games that try it today. Also, until DayZ and The War Z are finished, this is probably the only game that's pulled off open world zombie survival well. It also has that old indie game quirk of having unlockable mini-games hidden in its files, like Asteroids, Columns, and a little text adventure game.
Did I mention that this game has balls? You can set the difficulty to "Hardcore," and the setting actually is hardcore. If your character dies under this setting, that's it, your character is dead forever and his profile gets erased. It brings back the fear of death that many recent survival horror games have forgotten about. Of course, the human/zombie sprites in this game look like ass, and I'm surprised there haven't been any mods (that I could find) that improved upon that, but if you can get over that, running around town, taking over strongholds, doing missions, and, uh, surviving is mega fun. Probably in the Top 15 of zombie games that are now plentiful this gen.
Cortex Command
This fucking game has been in development longer than Survival Crisis Z has been out, and almost as long as Duke Nukem Forever took. Now, does this game's quality reflect eleven years of development...? Not necessarily, but it's shitton better that Duke Nukem Forever is. This is probably the best side-scrolling strategy game since Worms: Armageddon, and it even surpasses it in several ways. The campaign mode is similar to Risk, except in how it's not a terrible board game and makes the idea of Risk fun. The menus and help windows keep getting in my goddamn way when I'm trying to click something on the world map, but the controls are, for the most part, fine when I'm actually in battle.
Superbrothers: Sword & Sorcery EP
Now my review of Zombie Survival Z kind of makes me sound like one of those retro-gaming faggots. I'd just like to make it clear that this is definitely not the case. Though there are indeed older gems that have withstood the test of time, I think games are slowly getting better. That said, shit comes from both sides of the spectrum; most games were bad then and most games are bad now. The difference between then and now is that many of the great games of yesteryear were by the big developers, whereas now it seems many of the well-made titles are coming from new developers, and even indie studios. Even then there's some bullshit. Some of the most successful indie games that have come out recently use crappy, big-pixel graphics in an attempt to look retro. That's weird, because when I think of almost any "good" retro-era video game, they all had great art direction and tried the best they could to push the hardware to present the most beautiful graphics possible. What these indie games are doing now doesn't look "retro;" it looks like shit.
Rant aside, Superbrothers: Sword & Sorcery EP isn't one of them. Some of the sprites do have a derpy over pixelated style about them, but as you can even see from the screenshot above, the designers have gone out of their way to render some fascinating environments... and that's not even a good example of what this game looks like. The animations are very fluid, and the moody soundtrack is on par with Sonic Generations as the best video game soundtrack of 2011.
The story is kind of your archetypal "collect this sacred something-or-other to save the world" affair, but it's presented in a neat way. In the first chapter, your character finds a magical book that allows you to literally read people's thoughts, which is often a tool in solving puzzles. There is also a fourth wall breaking narrator character simply named "The Archetype" who adds a so-called "quicky David Lynch" flavour to the plot. The gameplay itself is a mix of point-and-click adventure and timing based combat. It was designed with the iPad in mind, so everything is controlled with the mouse. You double-click or hold the left mouse button down in the direction you want your character move, and you use different motions with your cursor to manipulate the environment around you. When combat occurs, you are given two icons: a sword and a shield. You click the shield to block and click the sword to attack. Sometimes the shield icon will flash, requiring you to click in time to dodge an unblockable attack. Everything in the fight is based on timing, and knowing when you should either attack or defend. It's quite fun and does a good job of livening up the mood after bouts of wandering.
It is also one of those games that takes advantage of your computer's clock to affect certain aspects of the game. Parts of the game cannot be completed unless the Earth's moon is at a specific phase. You can change the date on your computer if you want to speedrun through, but you won't be able to achieve a 100% completion rating. Personally, I'm going to wait the fifteen days until the moon reaches the right phase to complete the third level, because, like I said, I have a fuckload of other games to play.
The Winner
All of these games are great and must be played, but out of the three the most honourable is...
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
The Untitled Painting.
So, there is no long story or a story at all behind this. I just started painting this to get my painting cravings out.
Enjoy!
I can't seem to think of an appropriate title for this. So, I've decided to leave it untitled. Each their own interpretation.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Corruption.
I don't know why they just don't have your basic primary colours. So, I decided to go with lipstick red, daffodil yellow, bright ultramarine, titanium white, and pure black. They did the trick.
When I started painting, I originally had it on it's side, and just planned to paint whatever came to mind. You know, because it my way of rebelling against the idea of people being sooo precise when they paint. Gotta stay within the lines right? Well, Fuck the lines!
Anyhow, the concept isn't new. I have like three other paintings from this little world I tend to go back to. I think I'm going to make into an album. I don't have an official title for it yet.. but I imagine I'll have one for it soon. It'll probably come to me when I get back into the groove.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Review: E L James' Fifty Shades of Grey, and Darker
Prelude:
Reading the text:
I was eager to get to the bottom of this book, and with my book worm tendencies: I started reading it the moment I got it; just to get it started. I must say, it was a very smooth read. I would go and sit down intending to only read one chapter, to actually end up reading three. I think the some of the wording could have been better, like some of descriptive details. But hey! Each their own opinion.
The story:
So the story goes: An university student, Anastasia Steele, interviews a millionaire, Christian Grey, for her school's news paper. As he is one of the benefactor of the university, will be conferring the degrees at her class' graduation.
Anastasia is as innocent as they come, and is your typical independent and smart lady. Christian on the other hand, is a control freak with issues. Besides that, your typically guy. Undeniable attraction happens between the two, andddd yeah.
Opinion:
Okay, so this book makes me feel Bi-polar! Not because we are reading from Anastasia's point of view into discovering sex and all that. I'm talking the whole book. Like there were chapters I liked, and chapters I disliked. There were moments I enjoyed, and other moments that were just.. annoying or just plain awkward.
Another thing I noticed was the originality of the story. Some events, minor character traits, small details, and location all remind me of another book, (that I'm not going to mention), that disgusted me. BUT, on the flipped side, the author's own stuff was alright.
Now the main characters: Anastasia and Christian, they swayed back and forth with being relate-able characters, to not so much. More Christian, than Anastasia though. Christian, as I said, would be your typically guy. Like he actually remind me of a particular someone, but then, he would have this twist around and do things that wouldn't actually happen. The problem with Anastasia's character is that, she came off a little too perfect, and didn't have any flaws.
I can definitely say that, this is not a love story. Sure, romantic things do happen, but considering what this was leading up to.... love was not concept here. Above all, I was hoping for this book to be darker.
Verdict:
I give this book 2 and half spankings out of 5 spankings. For making me Bi-polar and undecided if I really want to bother with the other books.
Extra:
Yeah, quick little Google search, and stumble upon this.
The Hollywood Reporter: Bret Easton Ellis wanted to write the screen play for 50 Shades.
So, I finally decided to read the
second part of the Fifty Shades series. Hey! I got it at discount
price.
Shades Darker: Opinion and Verdict.
So, I finally decided to read the
second part of the Fifty Shades series. Hey! I got it at discount
price.
Anyhow, remember all that stuff I said
earlier? Well, turns out that my opinion on the first book, does NOT
reach the second one. I'm basically saying it proves to be better.
Like Anastasia has flaws now! And Christian's characters makes sense as well. And the author's writing is more of her own story. Is it
darker? I guess it is by their own standards. (I guess my definition
of darker borderlines with Horror... Hey! I like my romance horrors!
xP)
After awhile, I don't why, (Besides the
names) but Christian Grey in my mind started to be recognized as
Christian Bale. When I think of Christian Bale, I think either of
Bruce Wayne or Patrick Bateman. So, Christian Grey started coming off
as Batman to me. Since we are reading from Anastasia point of view,
when Christian went off to his own thing: That was when he went off
to be Batman. xD
Another thing I've noticed is that, (As
I mentioned, These books are in Anastasia point of view) The way
it is written is that, Anastasia, has three conflicting side of her
personality:Herself, Her Subconscious, and her, "Inner Goddess."
Sound familiar? In Psychology, particularly Freud relating thinking,
there is three sides to a person's personality: Ego, Super ego, and
Id.
- Logical thinking;
- Ego: Herself
- Moralistic thinking;
- Super Ego: Her subconscious
- Instinctive thinking;
- Id: Inner Goddess
Unlike everything else, I thought what
the author did there was pretty interesting. I don't think I've ever
read a book with defined personality aspects emerged into one point
of view.
Verdict:
Start over with Three good spankings
out of Five good spankings.
Extra:
There has been this buzzed going around
how Fifty Shades will have a movie franchise. I think it's ridiculous,
I really don't want to see this series to explode like Harry Potter,
Twilight, The Hunger Games, and so on, and so forth. It would just ruin
it, making it lame and disgraceful. Yes, disgraceful.
But if it does turn into a movie I can
also see that, Ian Somerhalder, from Rules of Attraction, and
Vampire Diaries. (Also books that turned into viewing materials) to portray Christian Grey. As for Anastasia alot of people say,
Angelina Jolie... I'm on the fence with that one though.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Quick & Painless Reviews: Binary Domain
The responses I've read about this game from other gamers was that it was your standard cover based third-person shooter, but with a good story. When I watched one of the cinematic trailers months ago, I became pretty excited, basically expecting Snatcher 2012. That said, I made a graph that basically explains the experience one would have if they played this game with the expectations I had:
It's about a 7.5/10. I hear it's starting to drop in bargain bins at this point. Definitely a title worth picking up at a cheap price.
It's about a 7.5/10. I hear it's starting to drop in bargain bins at this point. Definitely a title worth picking up at a cheap price.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Review: Kaori Yuki's Angel Sanctuary
Anyhow, among one of these disks contains Angel Sanctuary: The three episode anime. Originally Angel Sanctuary is a twenty-six volume manga series written and illustrated by Kaori Yuki. The manga is basically about a very conflicted teenage boy, Setsuna Mudo, force into the realization by questionable characters, that he is the reincarnated organic angel Alexiel: Who started a rebellion against God. In pursuit of awaken Alexiel's spirit, certain individual's twisted agendas are revealed, and Setsuna is caught in the middle, as war flares up again between angels and demons.
And that is all I feel that I can't reveal about the series without spoiling it. But yeah, it is about a war raging against angels and demons.
I personally love the manga because, its has little bit of everything. It is, however, a little fucked up, but once you started reading you will be hooked. If you put aside the story line, you will notice that the comic panels are amazing, but together there were moments in the manga that were rather poetic and just great. Besides all that, I had a pretty good laugh too. So there is comic relief to all the seriousness. So, if you want to read it, you should read it. There is no other manga like it.
Now, for the three episode anime. I fucking hated it! The anime does not do it justice what so ever. The three episodes are clearly based on the first three volumes, and I found that whoever decided to make it an anime: Just ended up hacking and cutting a whole lot events, and somewhat important character for the beginning of the manga right out of it. If you were to watch the anime first, you will sit and probably be like, "What is Angel Sanctuary?" They don't tell you what it is, and I think it's totally ripped off. Honestly, I am glad the anime is only three episodes long.
Overall Angel Sanctuary, love it or hate it: Once you have finished reading it, (I do recommend the manga over the anime... clearly), it's going to stick with you. Just talking about it, I almost want to include some panels of my favourite moments and quotes, and even tell you guys who is my favourite character is, but.... I can't, not without spoilers.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Pit Episode 11 : End Of Act 1
I am greeted with a massive array of electronic equipment
sitting on shelving twelve feet high, things ranging from radios to televisions
all with an eclectic mix of wires, glowing tubes, humming crystals, brass
gyroscopes , all seemingly putting of some kind of transmission, I catch a word
or two, but between the static and the thousands of devices vying for my
attention, I can’t make anything out. The noise isn’t deafening, but very,
rich, due to the sheer amount of barely audible gibberish coming from the
devices.
“I stumbled upon something, years ago, and I didn’t know how
big it was, for the longest time.
I placed a pocket radio into my “space” , that is what I
call wherever it is the things I conceal go, and when it came back I noticed
that every so often, no matter how nice the weather, I would get some odd
transmission. Didn’t think anything of it, actually took the batteries out and
just bought a new radio.
Then a week or so, the thing started playing kind of the
same thing, heavy static with barely audible babble underneath, without the aid
of actually being powered.
I knew there was something going on, so I experimented.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Quick & Painless Reviews: The Grey
First, IMDb's basic description of the plot:
After their plane crashes in Alaska, six oil workers are led by a skilled huntsman to survival, but a pack of merciless wolves haunts their every step.
... And I'll try to make the rest as quick & painless as possible.
I'm sure if I came across the short story it's based upon first, I might have thought it was kind of neat. Perhaps it left a lot up to mystery, so that the reader could find his own assumptions that would rationalize what was going on, or maybe it at least didn't throw in a bunch of false data about wolves that hunt humans suddenly.
This movie, however, didn't cut it in suspense or action. For some reason, I made myself endure a tale about a bunch of Alaskan hard bodies that are reduced to whimpering children once they're forced to face the hardships that they should be used to already while living up there (sans plane crash). Finally Liam Neeson gets ready to fight an alpha male, kitting himself out to become the biggest badass possible, but then the movie ends during its only potentially redeeming scene.
5/10 on the shame scale.
After their plane crashes in Alaska, six oil workers are led by a skilled huntsman to survival, but a pack of merciless wolves haunts their every step.
... And I'll try to make the rest as quick & painless as possible.
I'm sure if I came across the short story it's based upon first, I might have thought it was kind of neat. Perhaps it left a lot up to mystery, so that the reader could find his own assumptions that would rationalize what was going on, or maybe it at least didn't throw in a bunch of false data about wolves that hunt humans suddenly.
This movie, however, didn't cut it in suspense or action. For some reason, I made myself endure a tale about a bunch of Alaskan hard bodies that are reduced to whimpering children once they're forced to face the hardships that they should be used to already while living up there (sans plane crash). Finally Liam Neeson gets ready to fight an alpha male, kitting himself out to become the biggest badass possible, but then the movie ends during its only potentially redeeming scene.
5/10 on the shame scale.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
P.I.T. Episode 11 Part 3
“Strangely, it was the same thing you were asked to do.
Nothing. I was given a full, if outdated set of the basics of medicine, and
told to do nothing. I had to do some shit to get here, I’m sure you can relate,
but after all of that, the Hippocratic oath, well, it felt like all I had left.
“ he sounds a bit sad, but I also get a sudden smell, something I don’t like,
and as he tries to start a new sentence, the smell gets worse.
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