Quick & Painless Reviews: Firewatch

I have nothing against "walking simulators". You can see that I've played, reviewed, and made screenshot blogs out of a few major ones over the last few years. And eagerly I waited two of those fucking years for this one to come out.

For months, I even had a modified version of this painting as my wallpaper. 

This one offers an empty experience derivative of The Vanishing of Ethan Carter, with (admittedly decent) banter between two main characters that goes nowhere in a game that manages to barely be four hours tops despite taking place in an open national park setting. The setting, it turns out, is mostly just padding. There's little to explore except for the obvious landmarks the developers left for you; nothing extra that you find or do will affect or flesh out the story in any way; and the game is uglier than Ethan Carter, so there isn't much worth looking at either.

I get up to more in a five hour shift at my real summer park job. I mad.

5/20




(that's the amount in dollars that you should consider paying instead of the full price of $20, in case you weren't catching on)